Half Lidded Eyes
by Evie Antorcha
Summary: Kyle would do anything to protect the life of the one he loves, and Cartman takes full advantage of knowing that fact. Slash
1. The Library Incident

Please Review!! and I will plan to continue this. Also take note that the rating to this story might eventually become M depending on how I take it.

P.S: The boys are 16 years old, (juniors in high school) and this is in Kyle's POV.

Thanks, (clown hat, curly hair, smily face!) :-)

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It's nearing the end of last period U.S. History, thank Moses! I can finally go home and finish that damn book report in time for Monday, the last thing I want is to stay up on a Friday night doing homework and besides Kenny, Cartman and I have plans of sleeping over at Stan's house tonight.

"Your still coming over tonight right?" I hear Stan whisper from directly behind me.

I slightly turn around, hardly giving him a view of my face. "Yea dude, I just need to get my book report finished first."

"Alright, and don't forget to bring your extra controller." Stan replied, I can tell he's attempting to not get caught from our teacher for talking during our personal note taking session.

I simply nodded my head and went back to my history book and resumed jotting down notes. I glance at the clock 2:26, 4 more minutes till the bell rings. As I glanced at the clock I noticed Kenny acknowledged me with a small smirk.

I faintly curved my lips in return, and then diverted my attention back into my notes. A tingling sensation soon settled onto my cheeks.

Why out of all people, Kenny McCormick is the only one who can make me flush.

'Just 4 more minutes' I harshly thought to myself, now that I'm aware of the redness that saturated my cheeks I felt as if everyone was watching, including Kenny. I let my red curls fall and cover most of my face as I discreetly hunched over and buried my face into my book and notes. I've been deeply feeling really puzzled about my relationship with Kenny. He over the years have changed, he finally got rid of that worn out orange parka and has been showing off his rather appealing features since 8th grade. His hair is a stunning dirty blonde and no matter how untamed it may appear at times, it always looks good on him.

He and I continue to be good friends to this day but something between us sparked that caused these thoughts and feelings to manifest deep within me during the last couple of years. Maybe it was during freshman year when he announced to me and only me one of his deepest secrets.

I remember that day when he urgently told me to meet him in the very back of the library right before the final tardy bell rang for lunch. I agreed, and I met with him much to my concern and then he just sort of told me his secret. He had to reluctantly repeat himself a few times because I sadly couldn't register with what he had just confessed to me.

_The heavy odor of aged books lingered greatly in the air as I sat on one of the library tables and Kenny was leaning against a wall next to a towering shelf of books. We were silent since we met up and I didn't want to pressure him into telling me anything especially when he's currently in a very uncomfortable state._

_So I decide to break the ice and say something. "So, is there anything I- _

"_I'm bisexual Kyle" Kenny interrupted as he tensely rubbed his hands together._

"…_What?" I said knitting my eyes in bewilderment._

_Kenny unlocked his eyes from my own and they lingered to the commercial dark brown carpet beneath us. He let out a frustrated sigh and he ran a single shaky hand though his tousled blonde hair. "I'm bisexual Kyle!" He spat. "I'm fucking bi!" He strained as he attempted to harshly whisper his shocking statement._

"…_You, you are?" I say as my heart beat accelerated from the sudden news and Kenny's presently rare insecure state._

"…_Yea…" He replied, calming down some._

"_Well, how do you know?" I curiously asked as I hoisted myself off the table and stood directly in front of my alarmed friend ._

_Kenny's eyes immediately shot back to the floor as he dug his hands in the pockets of his black jacket. "How do I know?" He lightly scoffed with what sounded like resentment. "I…I'm attracted to guys, I like chicks too but I get off on the thought of cock now." he finished sternly blunt._

_I decided to hold off on the questions since he was already in enough anxiety as it was. "It's alright, Kenny." I say in a soothing voice as I gently placed both hands on his shoulders grasping it reassuringly as I tried to met his gaze. "I'm glad you told me, it means a lot that you were able to tell me this." I said with the utmost genuine truth._

_Kenny's flickering eyes lingered towards me, his stunning baby blues once again locking into my comforting ones. "You're the only one I can trust." he uttered._

Ring! Ring! Ring!

The bell finally rang distracting my thoughts. I packed up the remainder of my belongings and hurried out the class room but only to be stopped by Kenny himself.

"Your still coming over tonight, right?" He asked, tugging on my arm as he flashed me a mischievous smirk.

I couldn't prevent the smile that formed my lips. "Yea, I am, I might be a little late though, I wanna finish my damn book report first."

Kenny dully quirked a brow at me. "God damn it Kyle, you always do this."

"Do what?" I asked defensively with a trace of shock.

"Why can't you just wait till Sunday to finish your damn homework? That's what normal people do." He replied as he swung his back pack over his shoulder and leaned against the edge of his desk.

I slightly looked up at him, considering he was a good few inches taller then me. "Well, I'm not like all the other normal kids." I replied rather fond with that attribute of mine.

"No." Kenny replies I could almost swear hi voice suddenly got soft. "You're a lot more special then that."

And with that he simply walked away leaving me to savor the warmness that evaded my body as my chest developed that familiar tender ache.

_TBC..._


	2. Tell Me!

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park god damn it! But I do live right by the south park studios! ;-D

A/N: Please review, and I will definitely have another chapter up in no time. ;-)

Thanks,

Evie Antorcha

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I simply stood there unaware that my mouth was agape and my knees suddenly lost its strength. I eventually snapped my mind back to reality and slowly walked out the now vacant class room.

I took my time as I walked home, as I idly kicked small pebbles along the way all while overly pondering Kenny's statement. Replying the small scene that happened between us endlessly in my head.

"_Your a lot more special then that."_

I'd get these warm tingly sensations each time I repeated that simple statement in my head, his words settled think into the depths of my mind.

I really need to stop over analyzing this. It's bad enough I have these forbidden feelings towards my friend. Thoughts of me simply holding him, touching him…kissing him?, sends surges of unforgiving pleasure through me…much to my dismay.

I wonder if he's even aware of what I truly feel.

I shake my head, attempting to bore out the I improper images of Kenny. I continued waking down the residential block finally reaching to my front door step. I fish for my keys and open the front door as I kicked off my shoes towards some near by corner and decide to go and finish that stupid book report, why was assigned do a entire formal report on 'The Great Gatsby' ?

"Ow!" I seethe through my teeth, I look down and noticed I stepped right onto one of Ike's action figures. "God damn it Ike!" I shouted, which resulted of hearing his shuffling footsteps coming from upstairs.

"What?" He pipes angrily.

"How many times have I told you to get your stupid toys out the entrance of the door way!" I sternly replied as I threw his action figure toward the center of the living room floor.

"My toys aren't stupid Kyle." Ike retorted. "And besides that use to be your toy, you gave it to me when you felt you were too old for them anymore." He finished with a hint of triumph as he crossed his small arms over his chest with a huff.

I shot my head to the direction of the action figure and the little 10 year old bastard was right. That was the solider toy that I've had since I was eight. A lot of the camouflage paint has chipped off through the years and now it solely appeared completely worn out now. Stan, Cartman, Kenny and I use play World War 3 with my doll and their action figures too and of course Cartman labeled me as the 'no good back stabbing enemy who had no soul.' during play time of WW3.

I wonder if Kenny still has his toy?

"Mom said to wash the dishes before you go tonight."

"What?" I replied as I cleared my thoughts

Ike furrowed his brows. "I said that mom said to wash the dishes before you leave tonight to Stan's!" Ike nearly shouted in annoyance due to my lack of attention.

"Alright!" I shout back just as loud and just as annoyed.

"Uahh!" Ike groaned as he waved his hands around hopelessly and walked back to the confines of his room.

I toss my bag onto the living room couch and headed into the kitchen to start on the god forsaken dishes and just get it over with.

I suddenly feel the side of my pants vibrate, I dig into my pocket and pull out my phone. The caller ID read "Kenny" I immediately panic internally, we sort of ended on an awkward note, at least I personally thought so.

After a couple of moments of blankly staring at my softly vibrating phone at the palm of my hand I muster up the courage to answer.

"Hey Kenny." I say as casually as I possibly can.

"Hey, I have a question." He says as I hear him shuffling through what sounds like papers in the back round.

"Uh, sure what's up?" I asked, attempting to hold back any trace of shakiness in my voice. I wonder what he could possibly want considering I'm gonna see him tonight anyway. Knowing Kenny its probably homework or something along those lines.

"I really need to talk to you." He replies urgently and much to my surprise.

"What about?" I inquired with concern. I hope he's not doing anything stupid.

Oh fuck, I hope on everything I love he's not back into doing drugs. I really do hope he's not snorting coke like he was a year ago. Just the thought of it simply tears my heart apart all over again.

"Not now, I want to talk to you tonight when we're at Stan's house." He answers the urgency still clear in his voice.

"Kenny please, you have to tell me now." I say more severely then intended.

"No, I don't want to tell you over the phone." He says with determination. "Listen, when Stan, and Cartman are asleep I want us to go to his back yard and then I'll talk."

"What's the big deal Kenny? Why can't you-

"Because, I choose to see you face to face then to be tacky and tell you over the phone." Kenny replied bluntly yet his statement carried much truth to him.

I finally notice that my breaths quickened it's pace as that familiar ache I had experience earlier returned back into my chest. " Alright…" I manage to fully say. "Alright."

Kenny has the most eccentric ways of doing things, he could have very well told whatever he needs to tell me at school or during lunch but I decide not to press the issue and simply agree.

"Alright, good." Kenny says, his breath releasing in what sounded like relief. "I'll see you tonight then." He finishes and with that I hear my phone click and the faint noise of static.


	3. Heaven and Hell

A/N: Sorry for the long update, I've been counseling a friend, and I've been working like crazy so I'm not broke when I go back to school. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far, you guys completely make my day! ;-D. Now here we are people chapter 3. Don't forget to REVIEW!

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I washed all the dishes in about 10 minutes and hastily wiped the counters down with a wash cloth and some disinfectant spay.

'_God, I hope Kenny is alright._' I sincerely thought to myself

I hurried to my room and I finished my entire book report in record time. I skimmed through the last chapters making sure I had the story down pat and I typed what I could in little time. It's obvious I half assed my report but I'll polish it up on Sunday I decide.

'_He cannot be back into the drugs… he can't' _My thoughts harshly interfered again as I typed a final and lousy sentence.

Since Kenny's phone call I couldn't wait another second to go to Stan's, it was already 7:45 pm and Stan was expecting everyone to be there by at least 8:00 pm. I wanted to take my time on my book report, I really did but the thought of what Kenny has to tell me unavoidably made me hurry through it. I'm aware that's he's not going to tell me anything until everyone is asleep but I continued to rush through my chores and homework anyway.

As I click on the 'file' and 'save' button on my computer I freeze for a moment, something on my computer has caught my attention. I stared into my computer screen completely silent, my mouth is now ajar and my eyes now furrowed in an almost haunting realization.

I finally caught notice on what I wrote on a particular paragraph, I must have unconsciously typed it down.

'_I love him'_

It obviously had nothing to do with what I was writing for my report, I stayed solid in place and a delicate moisture soon developed in my eyes and I eventually allowed that moisture to travel down my cheeks in light rolls…I felt disgusting.

I convinced myself countless times that the inappropriate thoughts I carried towards him were simply thoughts of my questioning sexuality. I've always unwillingly known I was slightly attracted to Kenny…but not in love with him.

I took a deep yet shaky breath and murmured what's been lingering through my mind with uncertainty for almost 2 years, and now I know for fact it's true. "….I-I'm...g…gay." Saying that felt like an entire new language to me, I cringed when the words left my mouth, I've been questioning myself for a long time but actually saying it out loud was something entirely different, and it was scary.

It took me to write it down in black and white for my near mystifying feelings to hit home. I've been holding this in for too long. Every sexual thought I've ever had towards Kenny was pushed to very back in my mind and I refuse with all the power I hold to leave those thoughts hidden and to never resurface into my conscious mind again.

And I failed miserably.

This frightening epiphany explains every single aspect I carry towards Kenny in its full light. The blushing, my heart beat pumping quicker then usual, the soreness that develop in my chest every time I lock his baby blues with my own. Everything about him, every thought, every single word that comes out his mouth sends my knees growing weak and my stomach to flutter with something from the realms of the unknown.

"I…love…Kenny." I manage to mutter to myself, my spine trembled as his name escaped my lips.

I shut off my computer loosing all my will to type anymore. I packed the rest of my over night bag and I grabbed my game controller and movie for the night, with no rush this time. I took the collar of my shirt and wiped my face clean acting as if I never cried to begin with, fooling myself as usual.

With my bag over my shoulder I opened my bedroom door and as I turned the handle I noticed my hand was shaking.

I took another deep breath telling myself to get a grip or else I'm going to faint any minute. I took one deep relieving breath in and slowly let it out, I did this for a few moments until I felt the shakiness of my body cease to some extent.

I walked down stairs and noticed my dad on the couch reading a paper as the television was on with a hardly audible volume.

"Bye dad." I say over my shoulder, as I descended the stairs and headed towards a corner by the door to put my shoes on I kicked off earlier.

"Where you going son?" My dad asked taking his focus off the local paper and to my direction.

"I'm going Stan's, remember." I answer as I bent down and tied on my classic black and white converse.

"Oh, that's right, have fun." My dad replied and retuned his attention back to the paper.

'_I hope I do' _I thought to myself with a light frown and headed out the door into welcoming coldness of the early evening.

I arrived at Stan's at 8:20pm, I didn't bother knocking and just opened his door and allowed myself in. There is Stan, Cartman and Kenny on the couch playing the Nintendo WII in a very animated fashion.

"Hey Kyle." Stan mentioned never taking his eyes off the screen.

"Stan you dickhole your cheating!" Cartman hollered as he shoved the side of him into my raven haired friend.

"Now how the hell can I be cheating?" Stan demanded shoving him back as if it would help him win the game.

"Both of you are cheating." Kenny stated just as loudly and accusingly.

"Aw,aw,awwwwww." Stan groaned with disappointment, I assumed he lost. "Cartman, you bastard."

"You guys really suck ass at this game." Cartman scoffed all while gloating on his victory.

"You always use the characters that require no gaming skill." Kenny countered letting his controller drop onto the carpet.

"Hey dudes" I said grasping their attention as I sat on the arm of the couch next to Kenny and I can already feel my chest beginning to ache.

"Did you bring your extra controller?" Kenny asked, looking up at me with his signature grin.

"Yea." I replied no longer able to hold his gaze and I diverted my attention to Stan instead. "What do you want to play?"

"Super smash bros?" Stan replied smirking.

We played Super Smash bros for almost 2 hours straight. I have to admit I did have fun and I relished the fact that I completely kicked Cartman's ass with Yoshi. Stan later decided to order us some pizza and we then watched the movie I brought over, Donnie Darko and then we watched a movie Stan had rented called Running Scared. It was getting late when it was nearing the end of the second movie, it was roughly 1 on the morning and I can sense the restlessness coming off from Stan. Cartman tried to keep himself up but sleep obviously got the best of him. Kenny however was still awake watching the movie with wide interest. I couldn't help but to steal a glance or two from Kenny, I tried to be discreet but I have a feeling I didn't do it too well.

Stan eventually feel asleep at the end of the couch with his head resting on the arm and Cartman ended passing out at the foot of the couch in a fetal position on the floor. When the movie finally ended and the credits were rolling Kenny turned and looked at me with a slight smile. I noticed he looked so hot in the dark, the only source of light was coming from the television and it cast on him beautifully. I smiled back feeling each intense heart beat deeply penetrating my hears to the point I could scarcely hear what he was just said.

"Let's go to the back yard." He whispered wrapping his hand around my wrist and we walked to Stan's back yard.

I didn't say a work and simply allowed Kenny to guide me letting the fluttery feeling in my stomach come to full force…and it felt amazing.

When we entered the back yard we silently decided to climb up the man made wooden steps drilled into a tree and into Stan's tree house his dad built for him since he was 8. It was very dark save from the moon and a few of the residential street light post, giving us quite a bit of illumination.

I sat comfortably against a wall of the tree house while Kenny sat Indian style at the center of the small room that use to feel so big to me when I was younger.

"…So…" I begin already feeling the tension growing thick.

"Kyle, you have to promise not to get mad." He warned his eyes carrying concern along with his words.

I wrinkled my brows already knowing what's coming. "Kenny, please tell me you're not doing that shit." I informed feeling my throat inevitably stiffening. Kenny is so much smarter then to go back into that bullshit he was in a year ago, the drugs completely ruined his life and he was lucky to get out of it the way he did.

"No, it's not that." Kenny said with shock as his eyes widen.

I take in a breath finally realizing my I was holding it since our conversation started. "…it's not?" I said gladly relived.

"No, no it's not, do you know how much you helped me through that shit? I wouldn't go back." Kenny said leaning a bit forward becoming more engaged in the our nearly awkward discussion.

I smiled at his comment. "Oh fuck, I really thought for a sec- I mean the way you sounded on the phone earlier, you sounded like you in some sort of trouble."

"…well, I am in some sort of trouble." Kenny confessed his eyes now lingered to the floor.

"You know you can tell me anything Kenny." I say lacing my words with comfort and allowing him to feel more comfortable.

"Promise not to be mad." Kenny muttered looking up to me again.

"…I promise." I replied almost anxious I did.

"I…I like you Kyle." Kenny said genuinely his powerful gaze pierced through me.

I can literally feel my heart drop and my breath coming to a complete stop. This cannot be happening. "What are you trying to say?" I manage to say with defense and I saw Kenny's eyes knit and never leaving my hard gaze.

"I like you…like…in that way." He's say's nearly choking on his own words.

I didn't know what to say, I've never been so fucking scared in my life and I don't know why I'm frightened to begin with.

Kenny shifted his body and continued to look at me, I felt my heart racing a mile a minute and my chest caving in. Kenny then ever so slowly closed the already little space between us and his face ended up no more then an inch away from mine. I can literally hear his breath and from its pattern it sounds uneasy.

"I know you feel the same way." He said just above a whisper and he pressed his lips into my now dry ones. I closed my eyes and couldn't help but to savor the kiss and I weakly allowed Kenny to explore every part of my lips and mouth. We finally broke apart for air and we only continued to stare into each other as we began to digest what just happened between us.

After a few minutes of utter silence…I ran out the tree house terrified of Kenny, terrified of my improper thoughts, and terrified that I allowed my prohibited feelings to get that far.


	4. The Truth Pours Out

_A/N: I totally apologize for the longer then intended update. School has been a bitch (20 units) but I was able to squeeze in time here and there towards this chapter. I hope I didn't loose any of my readers. Thank you for all of your patience and I'm seriously going to try and update much, much sooner now. R&R! : - ) _

_P.S: I also what to say "Hurray!" for Matt, Trey and the staff at SP for winning the Emmy for 'Imaginationland' for best animated feature, at the 'one hour or longer' category during the Emmy's a couple weeks ago. _

_Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this chappy and please review! The more reviews the more inspired I get._

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The ordinary coldness of the late night did not take affect on me as I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry and my Converse didn't help since their not proposed running shoes. I knew once I slowed down the unforgiving frostiness will take effect on my body considering I only had on a pair of black sleep pants with a winter green t-shirt and a black loose jacket over it. I ended up hopping over Stan's fence and running down the street, my head spinning wildly, having no idea what I just did or where I was going, not that I cared to begin with. I didn't dare turn around to see if he was following behind me, uneasy as hell to face him now. I soon realized I was running towards Starks pond and when I felt sure enough Kenny wasn't following I slowed down my steps and heaved in wonderful breaths of crisp air.

The pond was frozen over as usual and the ground surrounding the solid water displayed its everyday deep white blanket of snow. I sat on a wooden bench that faced the pond and rested my elbows on my knees looking into the distance, gazing at nothing in particular as every single thought that been gnawing at my mind came rushing through me with all its weight.

I can't love…I can't…I was never able to…not with a friend…and definitely not with a guy. There is no way in hell that I can be truly 100 percent _gay_. Maybe what I was telling myself earlier at my computer was a way to trick my mind, an excuse, really, for what I had accidentally written down…yea that's it, it doesn't mean anything.

I've only ever kissed two people in my life, and that's not including what happened just a few minutes ago. My first was with Rebecca Cotswold in the 3rd grade, I realized a few years that I probably only liked her because she was in fact a very gifted and smart girl, I viewed her as one of those rare prodigy kids. I was only attracted to her intellect, finally someone I can hold a stimulating conversation with, but that flew out the window as quickly as it came in. My second kiss was from this other girl, Bebe Stevens in the 7th grade only because it was a dare from Stan himself, and I royally didn't enjoy the tortuous 10 seconds. As I grew older I've also lightly contemplated the thought that I might be an asexual considering my lack of attraction towards girls…

Fuck, I wonder why.

"Shit…" I sighed, as I tensely covered my face with the palms of my hands. The icy quality the air possessed gradually began to bite at my senses once my heart pace returned to it's normal speed again.

I suddenly hear soft footsteps crunching on the snow near me. I instantly stood and turned around having to adjust my eyes within the darkness, the only aid of light coming from the full moon that floated above me. I slightly stressed on who it can be, I was certain I had lost Kenny.

The stranger finally appears, I witnessed a familiar outline once I got a firm look on the perpetrator. I finally come face to face with the stranger, it's the last and yet only person I wanted to see.

"…Kenny…" I mumbled involuntary, hardly audible, even to myself.

Kenny stood there holding a cautious stance, I suppose he did so to make me feel a bit more at ease, however it wasn't working. His eyes locked to mine through the moonlit darkness and I can feel my whole body immediately flush. He looked concern and I can almost sense a trace of guilt in him, but this unfamiliar part of me _didn't _care how he felt.

"I…I" Kenny began, not exactly knowing what to say, he stuttered and fisted his hands together in frustration, and that's something Kenny never does.

"What?" I spat, my irrational mind speaking before my true self could, I don't know why I was being such a dick.

Kenny blinked with a trace of uncertainty, trying to absorb my unwelcoming tone of voice, as he clenched his hands together even tighter, if it wasn't so dark I bet I'd be able to see them turning white.

Kenny opened his mouth then closed it, hesitant on what to say. "…Kyle…" He slowly begun. "I really thought- I mean-I-

"_Shut up_! Just shut the fuck up!" I spat, pure venom laced each word, I hardly recognized my own voice and it's fucking disturbing.

Kenny took a step back his baby blues alarmingly growing wide as his mouth was ajar with shock, he continued to stand there, simply looking at me, examining me. I suddenly felt this moisture stinging at my eyes as my throat developed a hot lump. I don't know what the hell's coming over me. Kenny continued to intently stare at me his stunning set of eyes boring through mine, after a while his gaze began to make me feel vulnerable, he's able to do that to people and believe me it was working. The more he watched me the more I tried not to leap over and punch him in the face for making me feel this way.

"Why the fuck are you acting like this!?" Kenny finally demanded, loud enough for all of Starks Pond to hear as he waved his arms around in aggravation. He knew I was weakening my asshole demeanor and he took full advantage of that.

I have to admit I was slightly taken aback from his sudden behavior change, that's one thing about Kenny he doesn't take shit from anyone, and that's definitely including me.

"I'm not a fag." I seethed through my teeth, heavily knitting my eyes together with anger.

Kenny shifted never leaving my eyes and continued to have that same look, as if he was studying me. He then decided to walk towards me still keeping the cautiousness vibe he held earlier.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't move, like I was held in place from some sort of entity lingering in the air. I can feel my mind aching to run away, as usual with situations I get overwhelmed with and can't handle, but something deeper was telling me otherwise. When Kenny finally stopped his saunter he was as close as he was to me in Stan's tree house.

"…Your lying" He uttered straight into my eyes.

The next moment I acted on pure impulse, I punched Kenny square in the jaw and I'm pretty sure I knocked the wind out of him. He held the side of his jaw with a tense hand and patted at the developing soreness. Streaks of his hair covered most of his face so I couldn't see much of a reaction, but I'm pretty sure he want's to kill me right about now.

I have to be honest, I'm not much of a fighter. The only real fights I've ever gotten in was with Cartman, but he was a pussy most of the time during those brawls that I wouldn't necessarily count those few instances as a true fight.

The next thing I knew I'm on the ground with my arms wrapped around my tender stomach. I instantly felt bile rising and I tried with dire effort to not vomit right there on the snow. Kenny had swiftly socked me in the stomach as fast as you can blink an eye. I was attempting to release the stinging pain that evaded my stomach through my guttural moans not caring how loud or how much of a wuss I was feeling. His punch hurt.

"God damn it, Kyle…I didn't mean to hit you that hard." Kenny appeased as I sensed him kneeling towards me and he timidly rested a hand on my back, after about a minute or so he began to softly rub my back clearly feeling bad for what he did. I let his hand rest there despite myself and allowed him to continue his wonderful caressing I nearly got lost within his touch but this part of my mind abruptly rushed back to my conscious telling me that this sensation is something your not suppose to be feeling.

"Stop touching me!" I seethed, lifting my head and glowering at him as I completely ignored the now slowly fading pain that coursed through my stomach.

Kenny immediately took his hand off me like he's been burned as his eyes looked into mine pleading for some shed of hope. "Your gonna tell me what the hell is wrong with you." Kenny commanded never leaving our fixed gaze.

As his eyes continued to search for an answer I can now certainly feel the pain in my stomach wane and I gathered what strength I had and shoved Kenny away from me. "I don't have to tell you anything." I angrily muttered breaking our gaze.

Kenny was caught off guard as he hit the snow covered ground a lot harsher then I intended. I instantly got up and stalked past him feeling my stomach tingle away the last of the tender pain. I truthfully didn't know where I was walking to or exactly why I was being an absolute asshole but my this part of my mind kept telling me just to walk away and continue being the way you currently are, falsely convincing myself that it will fix whatever problem is at hand.

I felt a hand at my shoulder stopping me at my tracks and being forcefully spun around and there was Kenny with knitted eyes pressed together in clear frustration. I slapped his hand away as if he was plagued with some fatal air borne disease.

"Don't fucking touch me." I said with heavy emphasis on each word I poured out.

Kenny however didn't listen and ended up grasping both of my shoulders in what felt like desperation. He looked at me again, searching but I decided to linger my eyes to the ground beneath me instead.

"Kyle, you can seriously stand here and tell me you don't feel the same way?" Kenny pleaded his question as he lightly shook my shoulders.

I didn't answer, I couldn't think of one. I simply closed my mind down, nudged away from his grasp, turned around and resumed walking away, with nothing less then a grunt.

"Your not gonna fucking walk away Kyle." Kenny shouted not chasing after me this time.

I continued to walk completely ignoring him, feeling like shit.

"You can't run away from everything Kyle! You always fucking do this to shit you don't feel comfortable with!" Kenny bellowed.

That comment stopped me at my tracks, gluing me into place and I felt this horrible sinking sensation travel through my chest. I never did turn around to face Kenny I was too afraid to nor did I have any willing power to do so. After a few long agonizing moments I can faintly hear Kenny's soft footsteps walking towards me, if my ears weren't ringing so hard I probably would have heard his steps a lot better.

"Kyle." Kenny soothed from behind me as he placed a gentle hand to my shoulder. At that moment I felt this hard lump develop in my throat and resisting the urge to shed fresh tears. I took in a deep breath and I felt Kenny's hand move from the heave of my back.

"Kyle." Kenny said again not loosing the kind quality to his voice. "It's alright." He said as if he knew exactly what my problem was.

I turned around and faced him with a light frown. "It's alright?" I said in a mocking tone. "What the hell is alright with what you did back at the tree house!?" I demanded as I backed away from Kenny.

"I should be asking you the same thing." Kenny said with huff laced with exasperation as he advanced on me as I continued to back away from him. "Why did you enjoy it?" He asked matter-of-factly

I instantly can feel my face loose its coloration. "I-I…I " Fuck, now I'm stuttering, something I never do. "I didn't!" I manage to choke out, I can now feel the tears stinging at my eyes wanting to come out.

"…Denial..." Kenny simply commented resuming with his genuine tone as his eyes looked away from mine for a split moment. "I know you felt something, I swear you did." He insisted having the utmost hope in his voice.

"Your wrong." I muttered, slightly shaking my head side to side.

I still kept backing away from Kenny as he walked towards me, I suddenly felt my back hit against something hard. I can smell the crisp scent of fresh wood and pine, I bumped into a damn tree.

I stayed there and Kenny was soon right in front of me, almost to my chest. I looked up glaring, hoping it would make him back off but I know for fact a death glare means nothing to the boy that suffered the most fatal of inhuman deaths.

"…Are you sure you believe to everything your saying?" Kenny asked in a mere whisper, his voice sending my knees to give out in its strength.

Here is the question I've asked myself for years, and I've refused to answer it in all its truth.

Fuck…I don't feel good.

I didn't answer his question. I stood silent, keeping his gaze this time. Without thinking, I can now sense my mind weakening the protective barrier I kept up for so many years and engrossed on how beautiful his eyes looked in the moonlit darkness. I felt safe and cared for when I looked into Kenny's eyes, I really did, and I finally told that unfamiliar part of my mind that.

I suddenly felt an abundant amount of overwhelming emotion gust through me and the tears that has been threatening my eyes finally released.

At that second Kenny eyes changed into total concern, he cupped the sides of my face with both hands and wiped the tears that rolled down my flushed cheeks with his thumb. He rested his forehead against mine and looked not only into my eyes but into my entire soul.

"…I love you too." he murmured.


	5. The Covert Mission

I'm so sorry! I'm not even going to get into the issues I've been going through. Who cares anyways? All that matters is that I have posted a new chapter. (A long one too) Just know that I do guarantee that I will never abandon this story. Just bear with me; and thank you so much for your patience and support to all my last reviewers and readers. Please RR!

Evie Antorcha

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Overwhelming bliss…

I can't believe I completely broke down in front of Kenny, but he seemed to understand, as if he knew, after all this time, exactly about my inner dilemma of painful denial. The way he cupped my face and soothingly caressed his thumb against my cheek in comforting circles of endearment was nothing short of exhilarating. The tender kiss he placed on my forehead instantly sent my knees to wane its strength. And of course the words that had poured out his mouth only made my vulnerable state much more revealing.

"_I love you too." _

How did he know? I couldn't bring myself to say anything, his words echoed madly into my ears, etching into my mind. He completely read my thoughts at that very moment in time like some god damn psychic.

I merely looked into his eyes through a glossy coat of heavy moisture and nodded my head in agreement as I attempted to hold back any franticness that may be leaking out, I also felt a bit dizzy, but I didn't care. He warmly smiled and simply held me in his arms for god knows how long; calming me and murmuring that everything will be fine into my faintly ringing ear. We started walking back to Stan's house as soon as I composed myself well enough.

Completely gushing out all my very raw and hidden emotions was the best remedy I could hope for as difficult as it was to break down my massively protective egotistic wall. Kenny had coiled his arm around my shoulder and held me intimately tight as we sauntered down the street. I had no idea what time it was, or how long we've even been out, not that I really cared. We took our time as we walked down the sidewalk and the heavy darkness the skies possessed along with the exception of the lit street lamp posts played as a cloak against our very clear public display of affection.

While we eventually approached Stan's house Kenny released his comforting hold which unavoidably did disappointed me, only subtly. I figured you can't be too safe on who may be watching. We crept our way towards the corner of the house, we might as well have been a couple of guys on some black opts covert mission from how cautious we were being. The further we walked into the buried corner the more dark it was becoming much to my frustration. The already dull moon light diminished into nothing and there was no other dependable source of light within our path. We made sure not to rush and be careful as we could to avoid, sightlessly, from tripping into any of the nearby branches that Randy had sawed off from their hybrid poplar tree just a few days ago and had carelessly piled a bulk of them at the side of the house or smack into some random trash can that Stan might have not put back in its designated area. Once we made our way more into the deep corner, I quickly took hold of Kenny's hand, now lacking the confidence to know my way around myself in this pitch darkness and having him guide me in this rather blind obstacle course. I then sort of saw Kenny extend his other hand out in front of him making sure not to bump into anything as he reassuringly grasped my hand even tighter.

Unfortunately, I suddenly heard Kenny bump into a damn tin trash can making this huge rambunctious clang sound. We both freeze in place and I ceased my breath as if it would immediately stop the chaotic noise if I held it in long enough.

"Fuck." I hear Kenny seethe through his teeth.

I bite my lip and crease my eyebrows in worry. "It's fine." I convinced myself more then I did him. "I don't think anyone heard." I said with certainty while I maneuvered my way around him; our hands still clasped as I now conducted our way. I too sightlessly held my hand out in front of me like Kenny was.

I finally can see the brick wall approaching us and my hand thankfully rests upon it. Kenny moves next to me and we both look up at its height it shouldn't too difficult to climb considering we both hopped it only God knows how long ago. However, on the other side there was a sturdy dog house that had aid me to hop over the wall and I'm assuming Kenny had also used it. It had belonged Sparky who now hardly slept in it considering how frail he is now due his age that the average harsh coldness of the night and even day could potentially do some serious harm on him.

I first tried jumping onto the brick wall to at least get a good grasp at the top but failed and landed back onto my feet with a light grunt then I tried again with more effort this time but once again I didn't quite make it.

"Here." Kenny murmurs and he laces his fingers together creating a cupped shape with both his hands. "I'll give you a boast."

"Well what about you?" I ask a bit anxiously with the same soft tone as he used.

"When you get inside unlock the front door and I'll meet there." He said rushing his statement seeming on edge as he knelt down, encouraging me with the small plan.

I could've protested but I'm so uneasy right now since we bumped into that god forbidden tin trash container and Kenny is clearly on the same ride, so I acquiesced "…Alright" I say and place a single foot on his hands and he hoisted me up. I gripped my arms around the top of the wall, holding tight while I pressed my foot against the hard ceramic gaining some leverage as Kenny continued to raise me up more and I finally managed to make it to the top with one last good push. I straddled the wall for a brief moment before I found a spot to jump down. I landed on my feet with a thud and I couldn't help but to remember how I used to do this much more on a daily basis when I was younger with Kenny, Stan and sometimes Cartman's obese ass would tag along for the fun. We'd sneak into the local amusement park, fairs, and we even managed to sneak into a Denver football game with a single ticket when Cartman pretended to suffer a seizure as a distraction from security and the half the stadiums employees.

"Go to the front now." I harshly whisper with both hands cupped around my mouth to further project and I simply heard his footsteps as a response.

I swiftly run with easy steps to the back door hoping to Moses it is still unlock. I grip the knob and slowly turn it due to heavy adrenaline that currently coursing through my blood, and luckily it opened with nothing more then a hardly audile pop of the door.

I walk into the small wash room just as cautious as I was earlier, but something made my breath catch in my throat. From the washroom there is a door frame leading into the kitchen and I noticed a faint light that had just spread the tile floor right when I had closed the back door, the refrigerator light maybe? If I hadn't been out with Kenny earlier I wouldn't be as jumpy as I am now to who may be in the kitchen. I feel like whoever is on the other side would immediately know what I've been up to all night, and chastise a lengthy string of cutting anti-gay obscenities.

I silently take in a deep breath aware that my minds every leading thought at this moment is definite paranoia. Who the hell can be in the kitchen? If its either Stan or Cartman they would know that Kenny and I have been gone, but they were pretty knocked out before we had left to the back yard. Maybe it was Randy or Sharon? One of them probably got thirsty or something and is digging through the fridge to quench themselves. I decide to wait quietly in the dark confined room and just wait until the light is gone and know for fact they exit the kitchen.

I continue to stand and wait, patiently. A few minutes go by and the light has not gone away yet, it feels like it's been about five minutes now. Yet being in this type of situation time would go by real slow, but still! Not anyone, even Cartman would take this long staring into a fridge. Fuck, what they hell are they doing? My edginess is now being replaced with impatience. Kenny is probably freezing outside waiting for me to unlock the door.

Finally, after a few more minutes I see the light go away and I wait about another three minutes to make sure they left the room. I slowly then peak my head into the kitchen just enough to see if anyone is in there, and to my relief there isn't.

I move stealthily into the kitchen and pause at the entrance to the living room to make sure that Stan and Cartman are still asleep in the same spot they were in before I left, and I see that they are, Stan on the couch Cartman on the floor. However, they both now have blankets covering them up and pillows that they didn't have earlier. It was probably Sharon who provided that, I just hope she didn't go out her way too much to know where Kenny and I were at. She could've very well thought I was sleeping Stan's room and Kenny could've been in the bathroom or something. I tip toe into the living room and notice the time on the cable box 2:15 am it read. Good, so Kenny and I have only been out a little over an hour.

I go to the front door and ever so quietly unlock the top and bottom lock and partially opened the door with a soft creek, Kenny slipped in with his arms crossed over his chest from the cold. He looked at me with a trace of concern.

"What took so long?" He asked in a mere whisper.

"Someone was in the kitchen." I answer back as I gently closed and locked the door.

"So." Kenny said nonchalantly.

I lightly shook my head my curls bouncing from side to side and I motioned with my hand to go upstairs with me since I didn't want to risk waking up Stan or Cartman; my bag with my sleep wear is up in Stan's room anyways. We softly walked up to his room with the door shut and all just to be safe that no one would so happen to walk by. Kenny sat in Stan's computer chair as I tossed my bag on his bed and began rummaging through for my sleep pants and T-shirt. Kenny spun the chair around, faced his computer and turned on the power.

"Damn, what hell is Stan trying to hide." Kenny mentioned to the screen as it displayed his user name and blank password box.

"Dude, I wouldn't want someone going through my computer." I said with a smile, knowing exactly why I wouldn't want anyone including Kenny going through it for very embarrassing reasons.

"So what if he might have a little porn stashed." Kenny chuckled as he typed in some random password which clearly wasn't the correct one, after one more failed attempt he shut the computer down. He spun the chair around again and faced me with one of his signature smirks.

I held my pajama clothes in one hand looking back at Kenny with an awkward smile. Any other time I wouldn't care about taking off my clothes in front of him but considering where we stand with each other now it is a bit odd. Should I just go ahead and change with him in the room or should I go into the bathroom or something.

"You act like I've never seen you naked let alone in your boxers." Kenny said quirking a single brow.

He's right, before and after P.E class we'd change in front of each other all the time, Kenny, Stan, Cartman's fatass and me. It was never uncomfortable then, only during the few instances I'd be discreetly checking Kenny out along with a few other boys I must admit. I'd later mentally slap myself for doing so along with my everyday collection of questions about why I like to look at other boy's asses and why the fuck do I keep developing these lingering fantasies of _immoral_ desires.

I let out a quick sigh. "I know but it's only us in here but… it feels a little… too intimate." I said with a lace of sarcasm.

"Well, you can now experience taking your clothes off knowing that intimate fact." Kenny said, emphasizing the word intimate. He leaned more comfortably in the chair like he's waiting for some sort of show to happen before him.

And I guess I'm the opening act.

I first take off my shoes only leaving my socks on. I then take off my jacket and tossed it to the floor along with my shirt which I took off just as quickly. I stand a few moments shirtless in front of Kenny as I watched him check me out, and fuck did it turn me on. I'm now aware that I'm not able to fully control the things that are happening in my body. I grab my clean T-shirt about to put it over my head until I heard Kenny clear his throat.

"I don't think so." He says almost devilishly. "Pants off too before you put on that shirt."

I bit my lip as my cheeks burn a coat of blush. "If I haven't known you my whole life, I'd consider this as attempt rape." I joke.

"Likewise." Kenny says with a smile, one of those hot Kenny smiles.

I obey his order and tug at the zipper of my jeans teasingly. I continued to mess with the zipper acting as if I'm having difficulty pulling it down. I see Kenny faintly shift in his seat as he licked his suddenly dry lips. He looked almost uncomfortable but he still carried that look in his eyes as he continued to watch me. I eventually slide my jeans down until they reached to my ankles and kicking the material off.

I now stood in nothing but in green boxers and socks and Kenny still didn't tear his eyes away, staring… relishing. It made me feel so good that I was able to make Kenny react this way towards me. I run a single hand through a mess of curls not exactly knowing what to do in under these circumstances. I gave a small smile in effort to break the now sudden tension that filled the room.

"I'm gonna put on my clothes now." I softly say, while I grabbed my clothes.

Kenny blinked letting out a wobbly sigh and adjusted his seating position as if he was shaking off whatever trace he under, which I couldn't help to smile at as I faced the floor doing so.

"Yea, okay." Kenny said heartedly, and he let out other final sigh and he stood up and pulled at his jacket striating it out.

I put on my pants then shirt as Kenny continued to watch me do even that. I walked to him and smiled and he managed to smile back, shoving both his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"You know…" I begin the say. "You know, absolutely no can know about this."

He shook his head in agreement. "Yea, I know."

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek probably knowing if he kissed me on the lips then it would lead to further acts we're not in the secure position to do so, its way too risky.

"I'll go sleep down stairs." He says grabbing one of Stan's blankets and a single pillow.

"Alright, I'll be here." I murmur as I watch him pause at the door giving me one last smile before shutting the door and leaving the room completely.

I couldn't sleep for about another hour, tossing around the bed as my mind wondered throughout one thousand different thoughts, but the last thought I had before I finally drifted to sleep I remember muttering it to myself.

"No one can know…"

At moment I remember feeling like I never escaped my fear, still running away from the things I don't feel comfortable with.

And that's why absolutely no one could know about Kenny and me.


	6. Laser Tag at the Promenade

Tell me what you all think so far, RR! Thanx!

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I woke up bleary eyed as I noticed the morning sun beaming down my face through Stan's bedroom window. I took a moment and stretched in his bed and eventually sat up taking in a yawn and rubbing both my eyes with the crook of my palms. I peered out the window already noticing the local kids are out playing with a basket ball and a couple others on their bicycles. How long did I sleep in? I look over to Stan's clock and it displays a blinking red '12:00am.' I guess he never bothered setting the proper time to it; he's always plugging and unplugging the damn thing anyway.

I walk down stairs and see Cartman sitting at ease on the couch channel surfing, already appearing showered due to his damp hair. "About time you're up Jew rat." He says dismissively, never taking his eyes off the screen.

"What time is it?" I asked him groggily as I walked in the living room clearly not faze from his every day racist slur. The near neo-Nazi's been saying that to me along with a bundle of his other favorite anti-Semite remarks since I first met the fat bastard when I was 4 in preschool, and he had the nerve to say 'Jew!' to my face on the very first day. He didn't have a shred of decency to wait at least a couple weeks to say something like that.

"12:30." He replied as he shifted his weight on the couch more comfortably.

"Mm" I involuntarily mumbled in my throat, a light guttural sound from the stun of how late I slept in. I can't remember the last time I've ever crashed in this late before let alone in Stan's house. There's been countless sleep over's where we'd stay up bullshitting around with videogames and movies and I still wake up that same morning no later than ten.

I walked into the kitchen where I see Stan's back to me cooking something on the stove, from the aroma it's probably pancakes or waffles. It should be so since I noticed a small set of staked plates, forks, a half empty bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup, and a gallon of milk on the table. Kenny is there sitting on one of the table chairs, his profile to me with a cup of milk in front of him, looks like he hasn't bothered drinking it yet considering it's filled to the very top; and his eyes are locked to the milk in a lost gaze. Something is clearly going through his mind given that he hasn't even realized I'm now in the room. I leaned against the wide frame of the kitchen and crossing my arms trying to gain his attention from my movement and sure enough Kenny shot his eyes up to me and gave me a flirty smirk and I smirked back in return.

"I tried waking you up earlier but you wouldn't budge." Kenny explains quirking a brow.

A tingling sensation inevitably rose to my cheeks, and I don't know exactly why. "Oh, I guess... I was really tired." I managed to say.

"Yeah, I guess so." Stan said as he turned around carrying a large plate full of pancakes, and I couldn't resist chuckling at the sight of Stan being a domestic.

"Shut up, Kyle." Stan chastised playfully while he set the delectable mountain of pancakes to the center of the table. "I know you can't necessarily eat this..." Stan trailed off; I felt as if his tone was for only my ears, although what he was trying to say was no secret.

"There is whole wheat bread and some Raisin Bran." Kenny mentioned before taking a sip of his milk.

"Yea dude, the bread is in the pantry along with the cereal." Stan added as he took a seat next to Kenny and they both began helping themselves with the fluffy pancakes and syrup.

I can't eat pancakes or syrup along with whole list of other things due to my type 1 diabetes. I walk to the pantry and only pull the cereal out, not exactly being in the mood for the wheat bread too. I grab a bowl, spoon and prepared my cold breakfast at the counter and took a quick bite of the crunchy cereal before joining Stan and Kenny.

"So how long before you guys knocked out last night." Stan asked absentmindedly as he kept his focus on his pancakes.

I froze for a moment, and my mind came to a blank but luckily Kenny stepped in. "I dunno, like 2 in morning or something." He said nonchalantly, an attitude I couldn't essentially maintain at this moment. "Cartman!" Kenny shouts abruptly towards the living room. "Pancakes are done!" I suppose he said that to sort of change the subject.

"About fucking time..." Cartman grumbles as he took a seat directly across from me, grabbed a plate, fork and delved into the serving of pancakes.

I continued to eat my cereal as silence envelops the room the only audible sounds were coming from all of us chewing. However, I was the loudest considering I'm the only one who is eating crunchy cold ass cereal. God, after a decade, I can't stand eating Raisin Bran anymore!

"So Kyle..." Cartman begins with his mouth semi-full.

"What." I ask slightly annoyed as I stabbed my spoon into my cereal, slowly loosing my appetite.

"Did you have fun last night?" He asked, his eyes never leaving his plate.

I ceased the jamming of my spoon along with my breath and glared at him. "...E-Excuse me?" I say carefully.

Cartman looked at me this time and faintly narrowed his dark eyes. "Did you..." He emphasized with a lacing sarcastic tone. "have...fun...last...night?" He finished overly accentuating each word.

First of all, Cartman never has the courtesy to ask a gay question like that, it's just not apart of his overall demeanor.

"No, I didn't." I answer mocking his same tone.

Kenny sniggered; his head down into his plate avoiding eye contact with any of us as Stan looked at Kenny awkwardly then directed his focus to Cartman and me.

"What the hell...did I miss something." Stan commented obviously lost as to why Kenny is laughing and honestly I have no idea why he's laughing either, he's weird like that sometimes.

"I only asked you a simple question Kyle, no need to get all bitchy." Cartman said with that irritating false tone of his. Fuck, I hope beyond all hope he doesn't know anything, I wouldn't think he'd know anything...right?

"You guys, not now." Stan warned with exasperation.

I didn't say anything and neither did Cartman, I more than happy that Stan had said that. If Cartman knows something, which he shouldn't, I don't want him blurting something out that shouldn't be heard from Stan.

"We're going to laser with Token and Clyde are you gonna come?" Stan asked scrapping the last contents of his pancakes.

I wanna say yes but that damn book report pop back into my head at that moment. "Uh...I don't know."

"Come on!" Kenny whines, which was cute as hell. "You can finish that retarded report tomorrow; you have all Sunday to do it." Kenny reassured as I felt like he completely read my mind again.

I look at him with half creased brows false frustration as I felt Cartman's and Stan's eyes on me as well. "...Well...I-Fine, I suppose so." I agreed rather reluctantly.

...

We arrive to one of South Park's local promenades and we already see Token and Clyde outside the laser tag entrance along with someone else.

"Hiya Fella's!" Our unexpected guest, Butter's exclaimed.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Cartman sneered to Token as if it was his fault Butter's tagged along.

"He wanted to come too Fatass." Token countered in Butters defense using the obese slur he most likely picked up from me...nice.

We all walked into the laser tag structure and ordered us each a gun and a cheesy looking chest plate. Since there are not that many people in today we got our laser room rather quickly. The room was dark and looked like any glow stick; ecstasy taking rave kid would have a blast in here. There are acid neon lights of blue, red and green flashing in about in disarray and the numerous walls that surrounded us is particularly set up as a decent maze.

We split up and go to our own little areas to start and a recorded male voice soon fills the room

"5...4...3...2...1!"

Our laser guns are activated and we're off, I lean against the wall with my gun at hand like I'm some cop waiting to barge in a criminal's home. I hear faint shuffling but the techno music makes it harder to hear the others. I turn the corner of the wall and thankfully see Clyde's back to me. I shoot him and duck behind another wall before he had a chance to see me. I cautiously walk more throughout the room heightening my senses and looking out for anyone I can possibly shoot.

I quickly see Stan who flashed before my eyes and I lean against another wall in a small panic. I poke my head out and see if he's still there but he isn't. I suddenly notice my chest plate flicker red and I swiftly spun around and spot Cartman directly behind me.

"Oh, I'm very proud of ya lard butt, you got me." I scoff as I pointed my gun to him.

"Shut up." He spat. "I know you out last night."

I abruptly felt weak along with every ounce of breath escaping my lungs. "What..." I tried to say.

"Don't play dumb you sneaky Jew." Cartman argued as he approached me. "Now where did you go?"

I felt my eyes piercing through his as I walked backwards from each step he took forward. I took in an unsteady breath in attempt to maintain myself again. "Why the hell do you care?" I was able to say with enough confidence.

"Because I saw you and Kenny leave to back yard last night, now what the hell were you guys doing back there?" Cartman shouted above the racket of music.

"None of your fucking business!" I shouted back my brows wrinkled in fury as I held a death grip on my laser gun.

"Tell me, you fucking fag." He raged stepping in a lot closer this time.

That comment was all I needed to punch him square in the face. "I don't have to tell you shit." I fumed, now I know I'm getting really defensive...not good.

He held onto his jaw for a moment and his eyes ultimately retuned back to me. He looks like he wants to kill me more than ever. He stepped closer to me and I impulsively jerked back.

He gripped my chin with a single hand squeezing it, forcing me to closely meet his gaze, too close. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." He seethes and I can feel his warm breath stroke across my cheeks. He harshly releases his hold after a brief instant and walks away to another section.

I know to never trust Eric Cartman, the fucking arrogant prick to ever live on earth. I never did win laser tag that day or any of the games following the first one His words echoed through mind each time I caught a glimpse of Kenny and the neon rave lights that played against him didn't seem to help.


	7. Playboys

review please... ; - )and I really want to thank everyone who reviewed, alerted and faved this story so far, it truly does mean a lot for me.

Oh, and did I mention I love reviews...

...

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I spent the entire Sunday morning and afternoon polishing up my book report. I read and reread passages and chapters, wrote and edited my material until finally at around 4 in the afternoon I was satisfied with my work. As much as I tried to ignore the bothersome gnaw that was occurring in the back of my mind I couldn't. Cartman's warning affected me more then I expected, even as I continue to tell myself he's a manipulative conniving back stabber. There's been too many incidents were he would completely fuck me over at the end and I'm not going fall in his twisted ruse this time.

I haven't bothered talking to Kenny for whole day; I just honestly haven't had time till now. I picked up my cell phone and dialed his house number, after a couple rings a raspy voice picks up.

"H-Hello?" The female voice asked in a light southern dialect.

"Hi, Mrs. McCormick, is Kenny home?" I said in my usual cheery tone I use with any parent I speak with.

"Oh, is this Kyle?" She asked with a trace of delight.

"Yes."

"Yeah, he's home. Kenny!" She hollered away from the phone. "You know..." She says in a mere whisper. "I'm real glad you and Kenny are good friends, he needs more people like you in his life." She complimented.

I actually felt really good when she said that and I couldn't prevent the smile that formed my lips. "Thank you Mrs. McCormick." I replied and I truly meant it. That was the nicest thing any parent has ever told me.

"Hey dude." Kenny greeted after a few moments.

"Hey, you wanna come over?" I asked, hoping he'll agree.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few." He answered much to joy, I really wanted to see him since last night when I got home, but I didn't want to ask him to come over thinking he already seen me enough. "Alright." I said and closed my flip phone.

I cleaned up my room a bit, fixed my bed, put books and some clothes away then decided to take a quick shower in the mean time. I felt like I needed one after being cooped up in my room all day in front of a computer. It usually takes no more than ten minutes for Kenny to get to my house from his. I dressed in a black t shirt and some pair of jeans I had for over two years now. I picked up my wide tooth comb and started combing through my unruly locks of wet hair. As I was about to put product in my hair I heard the door bell ring. I dismissed what I was doing and headed downstairs and see Kenny at the entrance of my door talking to my mom who answered it.

"Oh how are you sweetie?" My mom asked as she shut the door.

"I'm good." He replied a little awkwardly with a welcoming smile. I don't blame him, everyone gets weird around my mother, she tends to be a little too motherly not only around Ike and I but with our friends as well.

"Hi, Kenny!" My brother Ike piped up from the couch as he was watching one of his favorite television shows...a recorded hour of Dateline NBC.

"Hey." Kenny waved, taking a glimpse of what he was watching.

"Come on." I muttered before he had to say hello to my dad next and he followed me back upstairs.

"I'm making some matza ball soup if boys get hungry." My mom shouted to us as she walked into the kitchen.

"Thanks mom!" I shouted back, keeping my irritation at bay as I poked my head back into the living room to make sure she heard me.

"What's that?" Kenny asked. For as long as Kenny known me and my mothers cooking he still gets lost as to what exactly is in the ethic dishes.

"A Jewish soup with a ball of dough in it." I answered sort of vague. "It's really good, you've had it before."

"Oh..." Kenny replies.

The moment we entered my room and shut the door Kenny kissed me lightly on the lips; I blushed and kissed him back just as lightly. "How are you?" He asked.

"...Good, uh...good." I stumble as I broke our eye contact and moved away from him to sit on my bed.

"Kyle..." Kenny begins softening his voice.

"What?" I ask trying to give off the vibe that everything is fine.

"What's been up with you since yesterday?" He finally asks as he sits next to me grabbing one of my pillows, resting it on his lap to relax his arms on.

"I-I mean- I'm not sure." I say shrugging my shoulders in defeat.

"Yes you do know." He informs me. "Is it because you think Cartman knew we were gone last night." He ask not even flinching at the question thats been bugging me since yesterday morning.

I looked at him the guilt clearly seen in my eyes "Yeah...that's it." I reluctantly admitted, although that was only part of what has been bugging me.

He looks away from me and releases a gentle sigh. "I need to tell you something." He says abruptly.

I knit my brows. "What?" I try to ask without it sounding too demanding but I think I failed at that shot.

"C-Cartman...Cartman... has kinda known for a while of how I felt about you." Kenny confesses directing his focus to the pillow on his lap.

"What?!" I bellowed yanking the pillow he had and whacking it across his head. "Why? How the hell did he find out? Did you tell him!?" I interrogated as I continued to strike him.

"Dude, it's sort of embarrassing how he found out." Kenny said laughing from my sudden anger as he blocked himself from the pillow swings. "Why the hell are you mad?"

"Do you have any idea who Cartman is and what he would do with knowing that about you!?" I shouted in a harsh whisper.

"It was an accident." Kenny assured, holding his palms up in defense.

"How?" I say with the most control I could muster.

"Remember how I was obsessed with Playboy?" He starts and adjusts his position to become more engaged with me.

"Yeah." I replied with a single nod.

"Well, he would sometimes go through them while he was at my house, he knew where my stash was anyway and he'd just help himself to the magazines." Kenny says and gestures to further explain his story, but I think it's because he's nervous.

"Okay..." I say elongating both syllables, encouraging him to continue.

"Well, I kinda started buying....well...uh...you know." He hints at me circling his hands as if it would help me figure out what he's trying to say, and it suddenly did.

"Oh...you started buying...like...gay magazines?" I clarify, making sure I whispered the word gay.

He nodded. "Yeah, and I had hid those with the Playboy ones and when Cartman came over one day I guess he looked through my stash and found them."

"Aw, fuck." I say with disappointment that must have been embarrassing. Out of everyone to find out about his sexual orientation it had to be Cartman.

"Alright, but how did he find out about me?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"That same day when he showed me the magazines, he immediately started asking me what boy I liked. I told him that I didn't have anyone in mind but then he began to threaten that he'd tell everyone he knew about my sexuality including my parents if I didn't tell him. So at first I lied and said Token, but he knew I was lying and then he threatened to tell my mom right then and there. So, then I basically blurted your name out." He finished rubbing his hands together as he kept his eyes on me waiting for some sort of reaction aside from my stare and ajar mouth.

I finally blink a bewildering sort of blink. "...Shit..." I finally say, wrinkling my brows in anger and creating fists with my hands. I'm not mad at Kenny, I'm mad at that asshole who forced Kenny to tell him something he didn't want him to know to begin with.

"It's completely fine though he later told me he wouldn't tell anyone, since I told him what he wanted to hear." Kenny assured as he leaned back near my headboard and laid on my remaining pillows.

"I don't know dude, I don't trust Cartman." I said with the utmost truth.

"Well, there's nothing I can really do about it now." He admited as he diverted his eyes to the ceiling. "You know after Cartman found out about me, I felt like telling someone about my sexuality, you know someone that wouldn't rip on me about it or be demeaning about it... so that's why I chose to tell you that one day, and it did feel good that I did tell you."

I smiled after he said that as I playfully straddled him. "That means a lot." I couldn't help saying.

Kenny placed both hands on each of my thigh, rubbing them, sending me jolts of pleasure. "And I kinda already knew about you too...you know what I mean?" He explained as his trailed his eyes back to me.

"What do you mean you already knew?...Really?...Did you really?...but I didn't...I don't think I did...at that time...did I?" I asked in a jumble of scrambled thoughts, astounded that he already had an assumption about me that long ago, way before I ever figured it out.

"Yeah, dude, I kinda saw it, I even caught you a few times in the locker room." Kenny said with a huge grin plastered on his face.

I felt hot crimson rise to my cheeks with no mercy. "....You...y-you did?" I squeaked.

He nodded, a mischevious nod. "Yeah...only a couple times." He said gripping my thighs this time. "But that's okay because I was doing it too." He finished with a wink.

I laughed and rested my hands on his chest having the sudden urge to touch him. I traveled my hands down to his abdomen and sneaked them underneath his hoodie and shirt relishing the warm skin aginsit my fingers. Kenny helped and unziped his jacket allowing me less constriction. I then partially lifted his shirt and placed my lips to his on stomach placing small butterfly kisses and an occasional flick of my tougnge. He ran his hands through my hair playing with the red locks as I heard his soft moans which only prompt me to do more.

I never did bring up Cartman again that day, and I never did tell Kenny what he said to me yesterday, I didnt even know how to tell him. I was too lost within his touches to even worry about something like that. Kenny and I didn't do anything more then just touching one another. We explored eachothers bodies, kissing, nipping at eachothers necks and we didnt dare go anywhere below the belt, as much as I wanted to. It never felt so exhilerating to be teased even if Kenny wasnt aware of doing so.


	8. The Former Science Building

Ok, so I'm trying to stuff as many chapters as I can before winter break ends so a thousand apologies to any grammar or spelling mistakes. Thank you all to those who have reviewed so far.

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"Now, I'm giving each of you a fun and different book to read for your final report which is due next month on the 25, so all of you have plenty of time to thoroughly read your assigned book and suitably have it prepared on the due date…no excuses." Our teacher Mrs. Spawn announced before a class full of suddenly discontented teens. There was a flow of groans and students slouching uncomfortably in their seats from the abrupt news of another book report right when turned one in at the beginning of class.

Clyde raised his hand the disappointment clearly written on his face.

"Yes Mr. Donovan?" Mrs. Spawn acknowledged.

"Can't you like…give us a break for a couple days?" He asked very directly, a bluntness trait he always carried.

Mrs. Spawn arched a single brow at his comment with disbelief. "Mr. Donovan this is advanced placement English 11, or have you forgotten that? Breaks hardly exist within this class, just as they do in everyday life." She said with confidant firmness.

Clyde simply rolled his eyes and said nothing further. Just from her looks alone Mrs. Spawn can intimidate anyone she pleases, which is why I think a lot of the boys and even faculty find her as a very attractive teacher. She comes from Spanish decent, is in her early thirties, possesses the body of a twenty year old and she's the most strict and toughest teacher in the English department.

She's not the type of instructor who just passes out A's like a host at some charity event. The only way you get an A in her class is if you work your ass off for it and if she feels you've put more than enough effort in to earn that A. She doesn't show too much sympathy for her students and she can't stand dumb asses in her classroom. She has made that very clear on numerous occasions, seeing as she only teaches AP 11 and 12 grade students. That's why I worked all Sunday cleaning up my report making it as flawless as I possibly could. The last thing I want to hear from her is a reprimanding lecture on how I didn't truly work on my report the way I could have, and I defiantly don't like getting chastised from her, which rarely happens on my end but when it does she can really embarrass you if you really fucked up.

"Mr. Broflovski," She announces, and sure enough she caught my full attention.

"Yes, Mrs. Spawn?" I asked as I straightened my posture in attempt to appear more alert.

She glanced down at the clipboard that she held delicately in one of her hands. "I'm assigning you 'The Catcher in the Rye' by. J.D Salinger." She declared as she adjusted her chocolate brown reading glasses.

"Ok." I replied and jotted it down in my notebook. Luckily, I have a whole understanding of the book. I read The Catcher in the Rye about a year ago for extra credit for a completely different English teacher I had, but merely knowing the book, unfortunately doesn't cut it too much in this class.

The bell soon rang after she stated the remaining students their assigned books. "All right ladies and gentlemen, I want everyone to have a copy of your book and you have till Wednesday to do so…you're all dismissed." She said coolly as she slightly sat against the edge of her oak wooden desk that faced the classroom.

I stopped by the restroom before I went to my locker, which I really need to clean out and reached in for my trigonometry book for my next class that I'm completely not looking forward going to. Math is not my forte, trig being no exception and my teacher Mr. Hayashi makes an entire class session much more unbearable considering half the students can't thoroughly understand what he's saying due to his thick Japanese dialect. When I had shut my locker with my book finally at hand, I suddenly see a figure standing right beside me.

"Dude, what the hell Cartman?" I say with annoyance as I recollected myself from being startled.

"We need to talk…now." He said with utter seriousness and a hint of malice dashed in his tone.

"I don't have time for your shit Cartman; I need to get to class." I said quite frankly and stepped around him stalking towards the direction of my classroom.

"If you take one more step, I swear to god Kyle, I won't hesitate to make your life a living hell." Cartman threatened with hollowness.

I did stop at my tracks livid that he's still able to pull this bullshit with me after so many years. I turned around not attempting to hide the fact that I'm pissed. "You already make my life a living hell, dumbass." I fumed.

"Kyle, don't push me." He warned as he accusingly pointed a finger at me.

I looked at him blankly; I honestly did feel a bit anxious simply from what he told me on Saturday but not enough to actually show it or to follow his order. "...I'm leaving now…" I said simply and turned back around. I began to realize that the hallway now only had a couple students roaming around. Great, if I keep this stupid shit up with Cartman I'm going to be late and be forced to do an extra 5 questions for tonight's homework to make up the tardy.

"Alright, Kyle." Cartman submitted with a very distinct feigned tone. "I'm sure your mom would love to hear about your little Friday night rendezvous with a poor piece of white trash."

I sharply turned back around, fisting my hands together as my eyes steamed with rage. "You fat fuck, don't fucking talk about Kenny you fucking asshole, and you don't know shit of what happened that night so quit acting like you do." I seethed, trying to keep every ounce of temptation in control from lugging forward and kicking his ass.

Cartman rolled his eyes and locked them with mine in his signature glare. "Shut up Jew or you'll regret it, I know you and Kenny had a little make out session in Stan's tree house and don't you dare try and deny that! Now come with me or so help me god I will tell your parents along with the entire school about being a fucking homo."

I gritted my teeth letting out a guttural growl of pure fury and I felt my chest caving in with defeat. Cartman began to walk towards the exit of the hallway which leads to the schools outdoor campus and I followed him with the small scrap of dignity I had left.

He glanced at me from behind a few times to make sure I was still following until we finally reached a relatively secluded destination. It was an area of the campus which carries the schools science building but that's until they built a new one in a completely different area which started holding classes about a year ago. The principle and staff has yet to figure what to do with this now vacant building. Cartman opens one of the double doors which leads into a half dimmed lit hallway and he eventually stops walking completely once we reached about midway into the hall.

"What is this all about Cartman?" I asked more as a statement than a question itself as I continued to control my anger.

"This is about what I want." He answered as he self-assuredly dug his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

"What the hell do you want? Money?… right? Or is it my Jew gold?" I spit out as I waved my hands around frantically.

"No…what I want is you." He replied unperturbedly and with a cold quality in his tone.

I gawked at him, feeling as if I just stepped into a completely different universe. "What!?" I said spontaneously as I felt my eyes bulging out of their sockets.

"You heard what the hell I just said. I want you Kyle!" He said again making sure I heard him clearer this time.

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" I shouted in disbelief, instantly regretting that I asked.

"You! Kyle, you! I want to do you! You fucking dip shit!" Cartman churned with what sounded like frustration as he glowered at me.

"Y-Your gay? You're fucking gay?!" I asked with revulsion. Not only do I already know the answer to my own question but the fact that he's suddenly gay for me is much more daunting.

"No, I'm not gay Kyle!" He shouts back in defense. "Now you're going to do what I tell you or I will let you and Kenny be known with your parents." Cartman carefully threatened as he walked towards me with calmness in his stride.

"Fuck no! Go ahead and tell my parents you sick fuck!" I barked, rushing backwards away from him and bumping into a wall of lockers. I was willing to break the fear of my parents knowing about my sexuality as long as I don't have to do anything closely intimate with Cartman, the fear I carried for so long miraculously leaped out the window.

"Ok then, I suppose, I won't tell your parents. I guess I will tell Kenny's parents instead about his new discovery of loving the taste of real dick now." Cartman replied with a highly relaxed posture and tone, fucking bastard.

"So what? Kenny's parents won't care!" I said, truly not knowing whether Kenny's parents would be troubled from it or not at the end of the day.

"Oh, he hasn't told you yet? I would think he has by now." Cartman started quirking a brow.

"Told me what?" I asked, now interested in the first time today what Cartman has to say.

"One day Kenny's dad beat him into a bloody pulp when he caught him looking at gay porn, he did put up a fight though but not enough to escape it."

I shook my head from side to side. "You're fucking lying." I muttered.

"Why do you think he was absent for almost an entire week not too long ago and when he came back his fathers bruises were still evident on him, he nearly killed him Kyle." He stated trying to make me feel guilty from raising his inflection with each step he took towards me…and it was working.

"You are lying." I said stressing each word as I roughly pressed my hands against the cool metal lockers.

"You saw how he looked Kyle, we all saw. So unless you want his alcoholic so called dad to beat the shit out of him again I suggest you do as I say." Cartman demanded his face now only inches away from mine.

I feel disgusted right now, I really fucking do as I'm now really contemplating to following Cartman's order and just do whatever he wants, for the sake of Kenny. "…Fine…" I boil, seething the word that poured out.

Cartman smiled, one of his typical sadistic smiles of triumph. "Good Kyle." He cooed into my ear and I cringed as I felt raw goose bumps travel through my back. I then felt his tongue hastily on my neck and he begins to suck at my skin along with biting it all at once. I sucked in breath through my teeth from the small pain and arch my head back from instinct. He then gripped my hips and forcefully pushed them against the lockers as he pinned his body more onto mine. He took a thick hold of my hair and pulled at it to the side and he delved deeper into my neck and with his other hand he began to grope at my jeans.

"C-Cart-Cartman…n-no, don't." I fumble with my words as my body began registering to his unwelcoming hands.

"Shut up." He said breathlessly with half lidded eyes as he released my hair and forcefully gripped my chin and kissed me.

My eyes rolled back as soon as I felt his tongue touch with mine as much as I tried to avoid it. He eventually got a good hold at making out with me while I tried my best not to push him off. At this moment I felt too much was being at steak here and if I fuck it up he can very well go and make Kenny's life shittier than it already is. I was convinced from Cartman that Kenny's dad did beat him and Cartman sure enough backed up his statement with proof of his obvious bruises. I remember asking Kenny he what the hell happened to him and he simply gave me some unclear story that he got into a fight a couple 12th graders, and I didn't bother asking further questions about it.

Cartman eventually loosened my jeans and delved his hand into my crotch right when we both heard an opening of a door and he backed off me as we both shot our heads towards the direction of the sound. We both saw a flash of someone leaving in a rush but it didn't seem like anyone I would know and I figure Cartman didn't know who it was either.

I wish whoever it was could have come in and distracted us a lot sooner.


	9. Lying

A:N: Yes, I know I completely changed the title of this fic but I couldn't help to do so. My previous title was just not sticking much to me so I decided to change it from "Coming Out" to "Half Lidded Eyes" So sorry for any inconvenience. Remember to Review! And thank you so much to wuup, ., Raigo, and CarnivalRiotx3 for your support.

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I immediately walked home after school and I didn't even dare take the school bus knowing Cartman would be on it. I had convinced Cartman to let me go to class after that stranger caught us, he was reluctant but I had told him someone else we may know might catch us and not only spread rumors and gossip about me but about him as well.

I was never so relieved to be at the front door of my house as I searched for my keys in my pocket. When I stepped inside and closed it I rested my back against the door the surreal event that happened today came rushing at me in full force. I started freaking out a little, and my breath pattern began to quicken. I had to call Kenny to talk to him to tell him…no…I can't tell him what happened between Cartman and me today, he'd fucking flip. I still however developed the urge to call him and have him come over; I really do need him right now.

"Kyle?" My little brother inquired as I noticed him enter the living room from the kitchen, nibbling on a piece of baked knish.

"What?" I asked having no idea why I was whispering, as I still kept my back at the door and only traveled my eyes to Ike.

He knitted a brow at my clear odd behavior. "What the hell are you doing?" He strangely asked as he took another bite of his Jewish snack.

"Uh…nothing, everything's fine, I just had a long day." I said as I adjusted myself and tried to gain as much normality back into my state of mind.

"Yeah, you're sure acting like it." Ike commented as he sat on the couch and flicked on the television.

I merely took one last look at Ike before I ascended the stairs and went into my room. I tossed my bag on my bed and fished for my cell in one of the small pockets and dialed Kenny's house. He should be home already if he ended up taking the bus after school, which he usually does.

"Hello?" Kenny mumbled, as I also heard distorted clamor.

"Hey dude." I said as I perked up my hearing to listen to what's exactly in going on surrounding him.

"Oh, hey, what's up?" He said as I heard him adjusting more into the phone.

"Want to come over again?" I asked a bit cautiously due to the more distinct arguing I hear in the background.

"Yes!" He exclaims much to my surprise. "I really want to get out of here." He muttered obviously keeping his voice from being heard from the others in his distance.

"What's happening?" I asked with a frown, concern plainly fasten in my tone.

"Uh…later….I'll see you in a few." He said in a whisper and hung up the phone.

Fuck, his parents are probably at it again, he grew up with them arguing and has seen it all during their painful fistfights. Now I'm getting even more nervous to see him. After what Cartman had told me today and just to call Kenny's house and hear his parents in a raw dispute is a little overwhelming to handle for one day. There has to be another way to fix all this, I'd rather do anything else for Cartman. I can probably bribe him with doing all his homework for him instead, which I doubt is all that difficult since he fucks off at school anyway.

I should have known Cartman would pull off some shit like this. Now I find it pretty clear that he was gay for me since the fucking fourth grade. His lack of human compassion and Hitler being his ideal hero of a lifetime only makes it a lot harder for him to completely accept being a homo-sexual. It doesn't surprise me that he is one, he's in denial with everything else in his life and I would always hear him talk about boys before he'd talk about girls.

I pull out my trigonometry book and decide to begin on my homework until Kenny comes over. I'm also pissed off that I have five extra questions to do thanks to Cartman's fatass, fucking prick. Calming down seems to be the bet thing to do right now; being angry at the issues I have no current control over doesn't help me in any way.

After I had answered about two questions into my homework I hear my door knob twist open and there is Kenny.

"Are you ok?" I swiftly asked, despite myself, the moment he stepped into my room. I shot up and discreetly examined him. He looked at me strangely as he took a seat on my bed.

"Yea dude, why weren't you on the school bus today?" Kenny questioned as he slipped off his backpack off his shoulders.

"I decided to walk today." I said with a shrug of my shoulder, surprised at myself that I was able to think of a lie that quickly, and not the type of person to lie to anyone. Its gets difficult to lie to my own mother.

He raised a single eyebrow at me. "Come closer." He said, I almost felt like he was going to interrogate me any minute.

I walk and close the distance a little between Kenny and me, as I tried to keep whatever awkwardness I'm carrying in check. I stopped where I felt comfortable enough and smirked while my hands were laced behind my back.

"Closer." He implies with a half nod of head towards his chest.

I don't say anything as I walked even closer to him. I can currently literally feel the radiating heat of apprehension and attraction rolled up in this one odd feeling. I finally reach to Kenny both our bodies' now only inches apart from each other.

He looked at me his baby blues piercing into my discreet nervous eyes and he slightly surprised me when he rapidly stole a kiss from my lips. I slightly jerked back just from his sudden movement and I ran a single hand through my curly hair as I achieved a forced smile. I felt like shit right now…guilty is more like it. I've done more with Neo-Nazi Eric Cartman in one afternoon than I've ever done with Kenny since we got together.

He abruptly wrapped his arms around my neck and looked at me cutely with those bright blue eyes again and he rested his forehead against mine. "I have two favors to ask of you." He said in his signature charm.

"Anything." I replied, not even bothering to process what he just said. Its was always little things like this that inevitably made me fall for Kenny to begin with, when he would put up the puppy dog act with his eyes and slightly poke his bottom lip out…its times like these where I just want to take him right here, right now.

"Can you help me with my Algebra 2 homework...and can I stay the night?" He asked never leaving our fixed gaze. I noticed the first question he asked cutely but the second request he held a much more serious tone to it.

"Yes and definitely yes." I answered managing a much more organic smile this time.

He pecked me on the cheek and I again felt appalled with myself, I can plainly feel my stomach knot up with shame as I felt him linger his mouth to my ear and began to nibble on it. My body flushed with his contact and I melted into his touch but what happened between Cartman and I kept replaying in my mind and interfering with the moment.

"Let's get started on homework." I say with a sigh as I was becoming overwhelmed with remorse.

"Sound's good." He commented, giving me one last bite on the ear before reaching into his bag and pulling out his things.

I walked over to my reasonably spacious desk and carried on with my homework while Kenny grabbed my computer chair and sat next to me. I did help him with his Algebra 2; it wasn't all that hard since I already had the course last year. I was honestly surprised to this day on how focused Kenny was at concentrating with me and on his homework. He use to regularly slack off, getting bored and would mess around from drawing doodles on his paper to his mind merely drifting off. His attention span at times is that of a five year old but during this past year he has been improving drastically with his overall grades, and I think it's primarily because he abandoned his drug abuse.

It was around 6 p.m. when we both finished our homework with out any distractions and by this time the Cartman episode was not bugging me as much as it was earlier. I had already told my mom in advance that Kenny was spending the night and I made up some bogus history project final we had together and we needed as much time as we to work on it. She happily agreed to my relief and decided to make us some gefilte fish with some veggies for dinner. Good thing I had asked when she was in a good mood because she would have been unenthusiastic to whole idea of having someone spend the night on a school night.

Kenny was sitting at my computer internet surfing while I went to go take a shower. I really felt like I should have taken one sooner today but I just never got around to it. I turned on the water and made it a little bit warmer than usual. Stepping inside the acrylic tub never felt so refreshing. I allowed the water to massage my back letting it wash away every touch, and every kiss I received from Cartman. I decided to wash my hair while I was at it and brush my teeth, thoroughly.

When I returned back into the room I noticed my computer is shut down and Kenny lying on my bed napping. For some reason I couldn't help but to smile at the sight of him. I sat at the edge of my bed and rested my hand on his shoulder, his eyes opened instantly from my touch.

"Hey…" He mumbled drowsily.

I lay down next to him and rested my head against his chest savoring his natural aroma. He began to pat at my hair as he rested his chin on the crown of my head. I suddenly want to ask Kenny about his dad, if he really did beat him that day the way Cartman said he did.

"How have your parents been?" I decided to start with a simple question to kind of ease my way into the real problem I have in mind.

"Fighting, you know the usual." He says indifferently.

I already know this is going to be more difficult then I thought so I chose to stop beating around the bush and simply cut right to the chase. I lift my head away from his chest to meet his gaze.

"Kenny I'm about to ask you a something and you have to tell me the truth, alright?" I warn. I wish to God he'll say no, that his father never did lay a hand on him.

"Oookay." He says as he laced his hands and rested them to the back of his head, perching him up more.

"Did your or…does your dad ever…like….hit you sometimes?" I trailed off now regretting that I asked.

Kenny's eyes grew wide and he stayed silent, but he never left my gaze. "What made you figure that out?" he cracked after some time.

"Uh…Cartman told me." I said shamefully, considering the type of circumstances I was under when I had found out.

"…fucking asshole…" He said in mere whisper barely audible to my ears.

"I'm sorry I should have never-

"No, dude, its not your fault." He said sincerely as he ran a hand through my hair and I instantly felt myself calm down from his caress.

"So is it true?" I timidly inquired.

"Yea…yea it's true." He said without a trace of embarrassment.

"Fuck, cant you like, I don't know-like tell the cops or something." I flustered, as I can feel myself freaking out again. Fuck Cartman was right, fuck! I can feel my eyes darting around frantically for a solution as my throat stiffened with defeat. If Kenny doesn't find a way out of this then Cartman once again has me wrapped around his finger.

"I already tired that." He says. "You know how they are, they didn't fucking believe, apparently kids all over town call the cops all the time saying their parents kick their asses just to get them off their backs."

"Fuck…" I said involuntary as I returned my head back to his chest. I felt like I needed to protect Kenny more than ever now, even if it does mean I have to do things that I don't morally think is right with Cartman. I can't risk Kenny's life and mental health because I didn't feel like abiding to Cartman, Kenny's dad can really put him in the hospital one day…and he may not come back.

"Why did he tell you?" Kenny asked unexpectedly after a few moments of silence.

"Uh."

"Cartman…how did he go about telling you something like that?" Kenny enlightened.

I felt my entire back stiffen, I have to make up something and quick. "because…he felt like…like I needed to know…"

I feel like I'm digging myself a deeper hole…because I lied to Kenny.

Twice.


End file.
